The 5-Minute Regulation Strategy: How Internal Family Systems (aka Parts Work) Can Help

The Power of Self-Relational Work: Why I Value IFS

I often say that the self-relational work of Internal Family Systems (aka parts work) has helped me as much or more than psychedelic therapy. And given that I credit psychedelics with saving me, that is saying a lot. IFS taught me how to practice self-compassion, self-care, and self-love in an actionable way. In my personal and clinical experience, self-compassionate and self-relational work is the practice of turning toward our internal system with the same curiosity we would offer a friend.

Moving from overwhelm to observation: the concept of ‘blending’

Often, we can feel fully immersed (or blended in IFS terms) in an emotion, sensation, thought, behaviour, or image. IFS teaches us to notice and relationally turn toward what is presenting. In IFS, we would speak of these presentations as communications from parts of ourselves.

a step-by-step guide to the 5-minute parts check-in

1. Notice that something is present (e.g., emotion, sensation, thought, behaviour, or image)

2. Name and acknowledge what is present (e.g., sadness, nausea, critical thoughts, mindlessly eating, or a vivid memory):

• Communicate acknowledgment (i.e., you could close your eyes and say internally or out loud, “I see you.”)

• By turning toward and acknowledging, you are creating a relationship with this part rather than being blended with it

• You may also notice other parts showing up in response to the one you are initially connecting with (e.g., feeling sadness, and then noticing a part that feels annoyed with the sadness); if this happens, see if you can ask the annoyance to give you space to connect with the sadness, if not, you can continue to connect by now focusing on the annoyance and repeating step 2

3. Notice if you feel any shifts:

• Often, this alone will result in the presentation reducing in intensity (i.e., similar to how turning toward a crying child to offer care will help the child to settle as they are now feeling heard and seen)

4. Ask internally or out loud, “What are you trying to tell me?” or “What would you like me to know?” Then just wait and see what kind of response might come (e.g., emotion, sensation, thought, behaviour, or image):

• Wait for a response (e.g., emotion, sensation, thought, behaviour, or image)

5. Respond/acknowledge the part, possibly by:

• Offering compassion/understanding to the part

• Get curious (e.g., “How are you trying to help me?” “How can I help you?”)

• Offer confident or calm reassurance that you are here to listen and handle things (e.g., you could update this part of you to your current age and capacities)

deepening the practice: Recommended ifs resources

• Read No Bad Parts, by Richard Schwartz (IFS founder)

• Dr. Tori Olds explains the model (Youtube series)

• Try a guided IFS meditation:

• Connecting with a part

• Inviting a part to speak

curious about ifS? Frequently asked questions

Q: What does it mean to be "blended" with a part?

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), blending happens when an emotion, thought, or sensation (like a "critical part") completely takes over your perspective. You don't just feel the sadness; you become the sadness. The 5-Minute Check-In helps you "unblend" so you can relate to that part with compassion rather than being overwhelmed by it.

Q: Can I use this strategy if I’m currently in a state of overwhelm?

Yes. In fact, this is an excellent time for self-relational work. When you notice a sensation like nausea or a thought like "I should be better," you are acknowledging a part that is trying to communicate its needs to you. By saying "I see you," you reduce the intensity of the struggle and move into a state of internal allyship.

Q: What if I don't get an answer when I ask my parts a question?

That is completely normal. It takes practice to get used to doing this type of internal listening. You might notice a response via a shift in emotion or sensation, or you may receive a verbal or image response. It can take time to learn to recognize and trust these responses.

As well, sometimes parts need time to trust that you are truly there to listen with humility and non-judgement. The act of simply waiting and offering calm reassurance is, in itself, a form of neurological integration and regulation. You might also check if there are other parts showing up which are blocking (e.g., by judging or wanting to avoid) the part.

Q: Is "Parts Work" compatible with Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy?

Both are powerful tools on their own. I often find that the daily, actionable practice of IFS helps maintain boundaries and self-care in a way that supports long-term health, whereas psychedelic-assisted therapy can be a catalytic and anchoring experience into new ways of perceiving and moving forward. IFS work can be profoundly helpful before and after a psychedelic-assisted therapeutic experience.

Nicole Haworth, RCC, CCC is a Registered and Canadian Clinical Counsellor offering online therapy throughout Canada. With a practice rooted in anti-oppressive and systemic frameworks, she specializes in helping adults navigate depression, anxiety, high sensitivity, self-esteem, boundaries, relationship issues, and overwhelm/burnout. She integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and psychedelic-assisted therapy to help clients increase their self-knowledge and heal underlying traumas/patterns to improve their health, confidence, and boundaries. In her personal life, she is an avid learner of lifestyle practices that improve healthspan, is devoted to both psychedelic and spiritual practice, and can be found often either reading or walking her sweet little dog.